It happens all the time


I baked for the first time since I don't know when on Sunday in my new air fryer - Cranberry Oatie Balls without the cranberries. Worked a treat!

So I kept going... Middle Eastern Legume Salad for lunch, Roasted Tumeric chickpeas for snacking, and Miso Pumpkin Soup for dinner. (Let me know if you want the recipes - they're so good).

I felt virtuous on top of the green smoothie for breakfast, BUT I had devoured half a Green & Blacks in two minutes flat the day before to perk me up.

l rarely have the time nor the inclination to bake, or cook, for that matter. (After 25 years of having to, I'm over it).

But it was raining, I was bored, and dare I admit out loud - feeling a tad lonely.

I had been home for 18 days straight with no one for company other than the boys and too many pets, and I was over them too. I was craving girlfriends.

I had made a conscious effort to get out and reconnect with old friends - friends I hadn't seen since forever 'cos I was so busy helping others make new friends.

But those plans fell through last minute. My friends were being pulled in all directions for their time and energy and whilst disappointing (hence the chocolate binge) it was ok.

Lack of time and energy is a common challenge when making new friends in our 50s and maintaining old ones, so I got it.

Even when you do have the time and energy like I do now, other things get in the way. Like the motivation to drive out of the valley - it's a long way to anywhere and back from here, and it's easier to stay home.

But then I know the folly of doing nothing and waiting for things to happen. Nothing happens. And nothing changes. And you just feel more lonely.

So I took my own advice and extended an impromptu invite to someone I met briefly through a mutual acquaintance - a single mum in her 50s who lived locally.

She popped over, and we sat by the pool Sunday arvo, imbibed by the sun and a refreshing tipple as the teens splashed about and tried their best to smash our glasses with pool toys.

Having my social plans cancelled turned out to be a blessing for everyone, but especially for me.

My cup was filled. My fridge was filled. I made a new friend, and I never left the house!

It was meant to be.

P.S. I'm working on something special for you to help rebuild your social circle when you're starting afresh. It may be a while, but it's coming. 👏

Friendship Made Easy in your 50s

...a friendship enthusiast helping single women in their 50s build real friendships for deeper connection, by sharing personal experience, curated expert advice, tips and thoughtful, no-fluff stories delivered to your inbox each week.

Read more from Friendship Made Easy in your 50s

I've been MIA the past few weeks in case you hadn't noticed. I decided to take a well-deserved two-week, guilt-free holiday 'cos I felt a little burned out. Then, the universe decided to enforce my resolve with two back-to-back head colds, which left me bedridden, doing nothing of any substance, wondering if I had COVID-19. (I didn't.) It was frustrating, but it offered a rare but much-needed rest. It took a while to adjust to being 'unplugged,' but I've developed a taste for it. It was so...

It's not that I didn't want to go. The spirit was willing, but the body wasn't feeling it. Even the chance of a cheap, last-minute ticket through a friend wasn't enough to move the needle. But I loathe regret. Judging by the tsunami of Facebook posts the next day, missing Pink in concert would have had me pink with envy. Overwhelmed by decision fatigue, I left it to fate... if the ticket sold on Trade Me, so be it; it wasn't meant to be. And with two hours to go until gates opened, it wasn't...

My energy was zapped as the days puffed into March. All attention was diverted to teenage woes in the home and the necessity of donning my oxygen mask first. As I crashed on the bed that swallowed me whole, feeling delirious from the 4.30 a.m. start to beat the traffic, my reality was stark. I was in desperate need of respite. Running away was not an option, so this was the next best thing. Allowing me to melt into the moment and do nothing else but "be" in a testosterone-free zone. And I...