Friendship Made Easy in your 50s

Follow your feet to improve self-esteem

Published 4 months ago • 2 min read

I took this photo for a friend from our balcony on the Bounty Explorer whilst on a cruise last week around the Pacific Islands. (The perfect digital detox with sketchy Wi-Fi at best).

The photo reminded me of when a long-term boyfriend said I had horrible feet - one of many unkind things he said that slowly whittled away at my self-esteem until there was nothing left.

Thirty years later, his words still rang in my head.

So, when I read this comment on Facebook the next day, I wasn't surprised.

… I'm actually amazed at how many of us (women over 50) are low in self-esteem, second-guess ourselves, and overthink stuff. It's like every second woman I talk to has these issues, including anxiety, which manifests in not going out. Why is that?…

Hmm, let's see... we have:

  1. menopause that plays havoc with our mood, sleep, and weight
  2. a society that values the beauty of youth instead of celebrating wisdom and experience
  3. ageism in the workplace
  4. health challenges that creep up unsuspectingly
  5. shrinking social circles due to various life events
  6. navigating unfamiliar territory with an empty nest, divorce, and/or caring for ageing parents
  7. and a lifetime's accumulation of experiences, words and behaviour of those close to you that live on in your psyche.

Whew! Is it any wonder we feel a little crushed under the weight of all that?

Our self-esteem decreases when our life is not where we want it to be.

We each have our stories, but when this manifests in not going out (the easy option I know well), it gradually chips away at your confidence until it all feels 'too hard basket'.

And it's a downward spiral from there, leading to tears of loneliness, isolation and, ultimately, poor health outcomes.

So, if you find yourself staying home, hesitating on the doorstep, or cancelling last minute, I encourage you to take a tiny but powerful step with those beautiful feet of yours..

  • commit to something (whatever that looks like for you)
    then step out of your front door

It's a step towards reclaiming your sense of self-worth and confidence.

And whilst it's the hardest step of all to take, it's worth it.

Because what I've found to be true is that being in the company of other like-minded women in their 50s is like a full-bodied balm.


Because when you take action and commit to something and show up, even if just for 10 minutes, you'll see that you're not alone.

You'll experience a sense of 'we're all in this together', which feels good.

And you're an active participant in life for once rather than watching it pass by you.

It's only through being brave and taking action that you can rebuild your self-esteem and confidence.

With each small step, you feel good about yourself and reinforce your belief in what you're capable of.

And without realising it, you're already rocking it. With all that life in your 50s throws your way, you're still here!

So harness that strength.

Despite being one of the hardest things ever, I took action way back then, knowing I'd have to start all over again and rebuild my self-esteem from the feet up.

I told my insecure boyfriend to take his feet and jog on. I liked my feet, and they were here to stay, unlike him.

Friendship Made Easy in your 50s

Hey! I'm Janey Carr

I'm a friendship enthusiast, creator and connector helping single women transitioning in their 50s to build real friendships for deeper connection. Subscribe to our fortnightly email for thoughtful, no fluff stories, thoughts and tips delivered straight to your inbox.

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